Risa

[sameforme]

Walking and fucking. Diane is pretty sure that her entire life had stopped consisting of anything but those two activities, with short breaks to eat, smoke, drink, and sleep. Sometimes in combination. But walking and fucking are really all Roland seemed interested in doing and while she's enjoying the latter, the former got her to the point where she was about 5 minutes away from breaking one of his legs with a tree branch.

Luckily, the universe decided she didn't need to maim her companion. At least not yet. Because all of the walking had led them here and while it wasn't as good as finding herself back home, it was pretty fucking excellent.

She'd been tagging along with Roland since she'd arrived in...whatever they were calling this place. It kind of needed a name, but in her head she's just been referring to it as the hellscape and so she supposed that was good enough for the time being. Anyway, she's been tagging along because she's terrified and he makes her feel safe and he seems to have a plan which is way better than not having one and really, it's just easier. Easier than being alone here. She's reluctant to admit she actually enjoys his company because that would be a little too honest and she's not in the mood for that much honesty. Yet.

What she is in the mood for is a drink. And maybe a swim later. And definitely some sex. And maybe even a party if she could fine one, which she is pretty sure shouldn't be a problem given what she's seen of this place so far. If they've been trapped in hell until now, it seems like they might have found a tiny piece of heaven and she's going to take it for everything it's worth.

"You can relax and get drunk and enjoy yourself, you know." She taps his leg with her toes from where she's sitting, her umbrella drink nearly empty. "It's good for you."

Comments

[sameforme]

She nods her agreement and watches him walk away before turning her attention back to Pia and kissing her softly. There was no real heat in it, it was more sensual than sexual at this point.

"I'm going to find a bathroom and a drink and then I'm going to find Roland," she said as she stroked Pia's hair. "Will you come and join us later? I don't feel like we've had a chance to really get to know each other yet."

Diane punctuated the statement with a slow kiss and a hand caressing Pia's breast. The other woman smiled into the kiss. "Of course," she replied, thumb stroking Diane's cheek. "Go rest. I'll find you."

With that, Diane went to go wash up a bit in the closest bathroom, grabbing one of the silk robes hanging along the wall. These people really did think of everything. Two vodka rocks, a few bumps, and most of a cigarette later, she found Roland lounging on a plush sort of daybed, covered in pillows, and given a little privacy by sheer curtains hanging strategically around it. Not to mention a gorgeous view out the floor to ceiling windows in front of them. Leave it to him to find the best spot in the place.

Taking a last drag of her cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray on the side table, she looked him up and down. "I don't really know you at all, do I."

[killwithmyheart]

"Mayhap a bit," he replied. "But the sun hasn't set many times since we met. I could say the same about you, sai. You're a mystery," he added with a chuckle. He rolled a bit to drape an arm over her, the silk of her robe just as soft as her skin. He had been so long in the worlds and he wondered how he could possibly explain to Diane what that truly meant.

[sameforme]

"Yeah, I'm a real tough riddle," she said with as much sarcasm as she could fit into the words. She got herself comfortable against him and sighed, oddly content. She knew she shouldn't be, she knew she was still trapped and that this place -- wherever this was -- would likely disappear as suddenly as it appeared, but she couldn't find the energy to give a shit. Not right now. Not high and drunk and with her brains all happily fucked out.

She took his hand and rubbed her thumb against his palm, trying to work out what it is she really wanted here. "Listen," she said finally, after a long pause. "Ask me anything you want to know and I'll probably tell you. But, to be honest, I don't even know where to start asking you questions. You're a whole jumbo sized bag of I don't know where to start."

[killwithmyheart]

"Tell me about where you come from," Roland said. "What is your world like?"

For him that was the question that burned the brightest. For whatever reason, he drew people from Keystone Earth, most recently New York City. Eddie, Susannah, and Jake had all come from that huge city.

[sameforme]

"My world? Damn, Roland. You don't exactly start small."

She was definitely going to need another cigarette for this one, and she thinks she probably should have brought over a bigger drink. But fuck it, she could always go back to the bar. Tapping one out of the pack, she takes a minute to try and work out a starting point and by the time she takes her first drag she's kind of given up trying to make a coherent story out of it. So she shrugs and just starts talking.

"I'm from Philadelphia. That's in Pennsylvania in the United States. I have no idea if that means anything to you, but it's a crappy city on the East Coast of a crappy country. The weather is shit for about half the year, but it's home. The food is good, the bars are good. I don't know. It's just always been home." Saying it out loud makes her wonder why she didn't move after after leaving her job, but she supposes she never saw a reason to.

"I used to work for the FBI. Federal Bureau of Investigations." Diane enunciates each word and she doesn't bother to hide the bitterness. She gave up trying to do that decades ago. "That's a government agency that's sort of like...how do I explain it. They are kinda like a national police. I wasn't an agent or anything, I worked for the agents. But I don't work for them anymore. I...I couldn't keep doing what they wanted me to do. And I didn't need the money. See, in my world, we need money. We need money for every single fucking thing you can imagine. But I had enough and so I didn't need to work anymore. Does any of this make sense or am I just talking bullshit?"

[killwithmyheart]

It sounded very much like the world Eddie had told him about many, many times and Roland nodded once, then pulled Diane closer.

"I have heard of such things. Money is the root of all evil," he said. "My Ka Tet mate, Eddie, has told me of the dependence on money in his world. How it makes people greedy. How it makes people cruel. It is the same where I am from. A bit of coin makes people think they are better than they are, but in the end they all fall to the Darkness," he added, then turned to kiss Diane on the head.

"National police seems noble, though, even if you were not the one to carry a gun."

[sameforme]

So, he understands the whole money thing. Ok. This is a promising start.

She wonders if maybe their worlds aren't so different, after all. Even if she's still mostly convinced he's an alien. A ridiculously sexy alien.

"I used to think it was noble," she says with a shrug. "or at least that I was on the right side of things. But I don't really know anymore."

Her tone is as dismissive as it ever is when she's talking about something that's a little more close to the bone than she's comfortable with. She takes a drag and turns her head to blow the smoke away from him, taking the moment to try and school her expression before letting him see her face again.

"My turn now. You still haven't explained this who ka tet thing to me. Was Eddie your boyfriend? Your brother? I genuinely can't tell."

[killwithmyheart]

Roland patiently explained it to her, still wrapped in the drowsy haze of the devilweed.

"Ka is your destiny. And tet is a group. It is High Speech, you see. Ka tet is the group who shares your destiny. All intertwined. When I was young my Ka tet and I traveled to Mejis to learn of life. Cuthbert, Alain, and I were more than brothers. Our connection ran deep. We shared the Shine and we three were stronger for it. And then Susan came into our lives and we four battled the evil that ruled the land."

He paused briefly.

"They all died."

He paused again.

"But my Ka was to go on, and years later a new Ka tet came to me, drawn from Keystone Earth. Your Earth. Eddie, Susannah, and Jake were drawn to Mid World. And again, it was a bond stronger than blood. We were not lovers, but the physical, element was not necessary. Our souls were intertwined. And once again, we struggled against the evil of the world."

The truth he did not tell was on the tip of his tongue, but he dared not speak it. There was a fifth in his Ka tet, but Walter was no friend. He had been Roland's nemesis his whole life, as long as he could remember. Their Ka was bound, he and Walter. Good and evil were always together. Walter had always been the most constant body in Roland's Ka tet.

[sameforme]

Something occurs to her while he's speaking that hadn't really settled into her mind before and she shivers. Not from fear, exactly, but a feeling close to it. She remembers what it felt like to work the blue rose cases with Cooper. That sensation she would get when he would describe things that couldn't be real but were, when she would read facts that couldn't possibly be facts, when she would have to somehow accept what no one should ever be asked to accept.

That's the feeling she has right now.

Diane steels herself for whatever answer he's going to give her to a question she doesn't really know how to ask. She turns the words over in her head and tries to find the right ones, but she's pretty sure at this point there aren't any, so she just asks. "Roland, how old are you?"

[killwithmyheart]

"I do not know, say true, Diane. I was a boy before Gilead fell, and the world moved on. I am old enough that the machines of the world have fallen to rust. I am older than the memories of all I've met. When I went to Mejis the oil pumps turned out barrels but when we were in the Calla they didn't even know what oil was anymore. I ken I've been around a long time, though I do not know how long," he replied.

[sameforme]

She thinks she might be sick but she's not sure why. Maybe it's just the sense of being completely fucking overwhelmed by the fact that she actually believes him and knows it's god damn impossible for him to be telling the truth. Even while she knows he's totally telling the truth.

Holy shit this is so not anything she was prepared for. But there's more. She knows there's more and they started this bullshit truth telling so she can't stop now even when she knows she should.

"Ok. Super fucking old. Right." Her hand is shaking and she tries to make it stop because that's just ridiculous under the circumstances. "And you said...you said you had the Shine which I'm going to just go ahead and assume is some kind of...I don't know. Psychic ability? Super power? I mean I believe you, it's fucking crazy but I believe you. So tell me."

[killwithmyheart]

"The shining lamp of God, we call it the Shine, is..." he started, then actually had to stop and think of how to explain it to her. It was no easy thing, and he was near certain she'd think he'd lost his mind.

"Some folk have it more than other, and some don't have it at all. Some call it seeing, and seers are honored in their towns, though many folk are equally frightened of them as impressed. I have it more than most. I can hear things others don't. I have not forgotten the face of my father, you see. I aim with my heart. And in doing that...I know things, Diane. I can't say how I do, I just do. The shining lamp of God shows me things. And, in turn, I can share that with my Ka tet."

If he'd known the word clairvoyance the explanation would have been simpler, but that word had disappeared when the world had moved on.

[sameforme]

Her heart is hammering in her chest and she wants to get away from him but not because she thinks he's crazy or dangerous to her or anything so simple. She's sure he's not. She's sure.

But that locked away place in her mind that burns when she gets too close to it is burning now. She tries to tell herself that Cooper was special in some way close to what Roland is describing, even before he --

"Has it shown you anything about me, Roland?"

[killwithmyheart]

"No, but to be fair I have not looked. It is not my place to pry into your secrets," he replied, gently stroking her arm. "Mayhap one day you will tell me, but I'll not go poking around uninvited."

He could say that, but he knew it to be true that sometimes the visions simply came. Sometimes he no control over what he might see about a body.

[sameforme]

"Don't," she said hurriedly before taking a breath and trying to look a little less like she was about to make a run for it. "Don't look into my head, ok? I mean I'm cool with you being a bazillion years old from another planet and the whole mind powers thing is...yeah. It's a lot. Kind of amazing but a lot. Just please don't go into my head."

She's not entirely sure why the idea makes her blood run cold, but it does and she's not going to question the feeling.

"Do you remember the man we saw in the woods? Or not man. Demon thing that looked like a man. The one that I recognized?"

[killwithmyheart]

He didn't need to say that he would not; he had already told her he wouldn't. He simply nodded.

To her question, though, he turned to look at her.

"I recall," he said. "The demon took the form of someone you knew."

[sameforme]

She nods her head, not sure she can find her voice yet. There are things she wants to tell him, things that she doesn't ever talk about, but this isn't the right time. She's not sure there ever will be a right time, but she knows for sure this isn't it.

So she tries to get her thoughts in order and figure out what she can share with him right now that might make sense.

"His name is Dale Cooper. Agent Dale Cooper. The real person, I mean," she adds in a rush. "He was my boss a long time ago. But not just that. He was always a lot more than that."

She stops for a second, lost in thought, before she shakes it off and continues. "Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is because I think maybe he was similar to you. A bit. He wasn't ancient or anything like that, but he was special. He had these abilities to see things...in dreams or visions or...he was connected to the world or the universe in ways I've never really understood. But yeah. I suppose maybe I'm destined to keep meeting men like you." She laughs then, but it isn't entirely a happy sound.

[killwithmyheart]

"Perhaps you're the sort of person who needs the Shine to help you along, given you don't have it yourself," Roland said, thinking practically. "Alain never had it, but he needed it. My laws, how he needed it. Cuthbert and I helped him along."

[sameforme]

"I don't know how much he helped me," she replies, voice low. She's not sure how much she wants to explain what she means by that right now. "Not sure it helped him much either."

Fuck but her heart aches for him. Even now. Even after everything he did to her and all the years that have gone by.

"But whatever. I don't want to get all wrapped up in gloomy bullshit right now, Roland. Not when we are sitting in the middle of an orgy paradise. Tell me something happy! Tell me a good memory."

[killwithmyheart]

"A good memory?" he asked, then fell quiet for a long moment.

"Once, when I was a boy, I had a teacher. His name was Cort. He had a hawk as a pet and friend. One time I was being lazy and Cort set the hawk on me. I had yet to earn my guns so I was defenseless. The hawk's talons cut into my scalp and his wings beat my face. I looked quite the fool trying to fight off a bird," he chuckled, quite amused by the tale. "He called it off and told me I should remember the face of my father. I have never forgotten since."